Welcome aboard the Assembly Line of Life! Plant your buttocks firmly onto the conveyor belt, strap yourself in and please refrain from moving. You wouldn't want to fall off, would you?! Sit back and relax. Everything you need will be provided for you.
Crank the lever between your legs to select your desired destination.
Fantastic! Welcome aboard, future Doctor Dylan!
Working as a junior grinder at the Flashcard Factory is a fantastic opportunity for you to ... . Not only will you get to ..., but you will also have the opportunity to grind alongside some of the most well-behaved and diligent grinders in the business.
Largely due to the pressures of school, many spaced repetition users feel like they have been transformed into workers at the flashcard factory, mindlessly mashing the spacebar.
In the absence of any [meaningful goals], the workers rely on [artificial metrics]: the heatmap is the flashcard grinder's punchcard. The worker labors miserably under the specter of a broken streak, which looms menacingly overhead like Damocles Sword.
The outstanding parameter becomes a form of religion. If users do not finish their outstanding cards, they feel like they have failed.
The most obedient flashcard workers persist through the misery. "The Grind is the Glory!", "No Pain No Gain!", they chant inside their heads. Only by flattening any semblance of passion or spirit are they able to continue through the process. Only by refusing to subject any part of this process to critical analysis are they able to live with the notion that this system is anything but a scam.
Like ascetic monks, the workers cut themselves off from the world, retreat to their cubicles and dream of their afterlife: Retirement! The day they can finally press "delete" and leave the factory for good.
The well-behaved workers flaunt their flawless streaks. It's a simple equation: If I grind 500 flashcards a day before retirement, and you only grind 250, then I ground 250 more cards than you per day! I ground more flashcards. More flashcards, more knowledge. I am smarter and much more well-behaved than you. Actually now I come to think of it, I am the most obedient and well-behaved worker in this whole damn place. I don't know anyone who grinds harder than me.
Having endured purgatory in the flashcard factory, they retire to ... . The worker smiles, his eyes glistening with tears of joy as he deletes his flashcards. He won't be needing those anymore. Not now he's left the factory.
Congratulations on your retirement from the factory! Could there be a better reward for a such a diligent and well-behaved worker .... .